When You Think That Someone's Life Doesn't Matter...

When you feel like someone’s life doesn’t matter, you decide that their life is insignificant…when you think that someone’s life doesn’t matter, you decide that their life has no purpose…when you think that someone’s life doesn’t matter, you don’t think about the people in their lives who love them…when you think that someone’s life doesn’t matter, you don’t think about their children…when you think that someone’s life doesn’t matter, you don’t think about their spouses, parents or siblings…when you think that someone’s life doesn’t matter, you don’t think about what they’ve had to overcome or are in the process of…when you think that someone’s life doesn’t matter, you lock them into today, you don’t think about who they may become tomorrow…when you think that someone’s life doesn’t matter, you don’t see them as a human being with feelings…family…purpose…when you think that someone’s life doesn’t matter, you don’t think about the consequences of unleashing your anger, jealousy or fear based behaviors, on them and their family…or you and yours.

As a Behaviorist, I don’t believe that there are good people and bad people. I believe in good behavior and bad behavior. To say that a person or group of people are good or bad has a couple of issues…a group of people is made up of individuals with a variety of behaviors, good, bad and indifferent…they can’t be grouped. An individual person can have overall good behavior, but make some bad choices…or an individual person can have overall bad behavior, but make some good choices. Here’s an example I used to use with parents: when we say that a child is bad…we are saying that he/she is who they are and can’t change...so why should they try. When we say that he/she has bad behavior…behavior can be changed and if the child knows that, then he/she has hope.

It is too complicated for anyone to make an accurate judgement call that justifies dismissing another as one who doesn’t matter because of what we think. We all have a right to be angry about whatever we choose to be angry about…but if that anger turns us into the judge and jury...what happens when we find out that what we thought, wasn’t so…sometimes there is no do over. We don’t get to decide whose life matters…God has already decided that they all do. When we approach each other with respect as human beings, despite our differences…behaviors will change.